return my video game
i can now get sex on a playground off my list of things to do in life.
My grandmother just explained bulimia to me as a diet
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Attempted to dodge my boyfriends cum last night and ended up falling off the bed and getting the worlds most painful charlie horse. fuck my life.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
She really has to stop the coke at some point. Won't she run out of money eventually?
Won't she run out of nose eventually?
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
Randomize
