It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
just gave a homeless man a kiss in exchange for two handles
exact location. now.
Apparently on the way out of the ER i asked the nurse to doggie-bag me some more morphine.
watching my parents drink 4 loko out of usf cups playing pool and rocking out to ACDC...
Can I come live with you?
Once again there IS no outside bathroom. Never has been, that is the balcony
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
Just saw a couple do like 5 Sakai bombs and my dad goes "who says love is dead"
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
You climbed on top of the bar, shotgunned a 25oz fosters and screamed, Steve Irwin was a God amongst men.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
I was thinking about the biological process causing me to puke while I was puking. THAT'S how much I'd been studying.
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Accidentally typed message to mom that included word "kink." FML. Played it off as autocorrect from "drink" which was somehow more acceptable
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Randomize