you think the cum will come out of moms black shirt?
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I think its only fitting my first purchase with my student loan is a glass pipe? I think ill name it 'Subsidized'
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
i'm duct taped to my bed with a condom in my hand. something went wrong
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
Ultimate fat girl moment: I promised him my mouth for the night if he bought me a funnel cake..
That's really the only reason I'm dating you, the prospect that I might get bacon
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
