just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
Whenever ur ready we need breakfast and a psychic.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
Give me a heads up the next time you BBM me a voicenote of you cumming so I'll make sure not to play it while in the car with my parents. Miss you too.
I just saw her take the entire bowl of lime wedges from the bar and pour them all in her purse, and now using the empty bowl as a hat. Waiting for security to come and throw her ass out.
It was like the perfect storm of bad decisions.
I started scrolling back in our texts looking for context and a picture of your dick rose like the Great Pumpkin in the middle of my screen.
It's not that I even wanna fuck these guys anymore, just cuddle that's all. My conscience has never been so proud.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
I'd just like to take a moment now to apologize sincerely for getting drunk and making an as of myself at your Christmas party next week. I'm especially sorry for sleeping with your baby sister.
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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