just fyi, hangover + ice skates = really bad idea
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I can feel the alcohol in my calves
Did you guys have sex yet? And don't worry, I broke the ice already by sending this to both of you. So you can just jump right into it. You're welcome.
I think the camel was justified in biting me.
Babe.. You are farting in your sleep and it literally smells like something crawled up your asshole and died.. I'm gagging and I feel like I'm eating your fart right now. I want to tape your ass cheeks shut and plug up that canon you call your ass. All I hear is snores and farts.. You are lucky I love you
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
I WOULD NEVER MIX DICK AND MCDONALDS
I just need a big sign that says no more penis please hanging over my head at all times
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
long story short, the bouquet was used as a sacrificial torch
Atleast we had sex on the couch before your ex took it from you
Tripping over coffee tables hurts shins but face is okay bc I landed on a sofa.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I pointed at him and said “there goes mr fuckwad”
Randomize
