I swear to god I'm with a high end prostitute right now and shes the most interesting person I've ever met. She just took me in to share an evening.
And as an added bonus she seems to have gotten a blood stain out of my favorite t-shirt
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
omg! a creepy truck driver just made a frog puppet wave at me!!!
Riding home in a carseat. Worst. Night. Ever.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
his genitalia just looks like a thumbs up. a really really small thumbs up.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
He kept moaning America instead of Erica while fucking me.
My face is tingly. And my legs are being massaged by golden elves.
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
OPIZZABONMYDICK
I have fuck me eyes 4/5 people agree. It's like doctors or dentists but with ppl who have lots of sex and know these things.
You told me that you couldn't come over because you felt like you were gonna die and that houses eat you when you die, and my house couldn't eat you because your house would be jealous. That's when I knew to take the bowl away from you.
Randomize