i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
I couldn't function. I was to the point where I was using a bottle cap as a monocle.
I need to stop treating my body like that of a Vegas hooker on vacation in Ibiza
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
I am playing a little game I like to call "How Quickly Can I Infuse This Vodka Into My Bloodstream Without the Use of an IV"
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
I have no idea, I usually just project my awkwardness out like a mating call until it draws other awkward members of the opposite sex out from the bushes
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
Randomize
