I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
Apparently throwing up on his dick didnt convince him to stay away . . . whats the most indirect way of saying "im just going to continue avoiding you"?
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
I could swear I did coke with Jesus last night
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Ok seriously I'm living off of bologna but I have 4 handles in the freezer.
He looked at my vag and said "you have a nice situation down there. Good work"
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
i think we should start 2012 by becoming clean and sober for awhile and buckle down
ppsyche im wasted where are you
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I think this shark week should consist of getting drunk enough to actually go hunt sharks ourselves.
Yeah probably not. I have a hair appt, a gun class, and hopefully a boy to fuck. I'm booked.
Believe me honey Imma fuck the discount out of at least one plastic surgeon in my life
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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