I realize that when i start making 24-themed music videos in my head to the song 'love is a battlefield' that i really need to get out more
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
I am full of burrito and curiosity
i called him pencil dick in front of over half of his fraternity brothers...
...never gotten so many high fives in my life! fuck ya i win!
im gonna call it quits for tonight... I am so drunk I dont even have the motor skills to masturbate
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
That boy needs some memories to take back home with him
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Your father is wrapped in a table cloth singing, "America Fuck Yeah!" You are missing the time of your life.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Is it good porn? Or is it more of that fucked up Cabbage Patch Doll porn you made us watch
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