Instead of asking if I had a condom she literally said " I'm not on the pill but I'm pro choice... your move"... I'm in love
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I had a wet dream about my mom last night. words can't even begin to discribe how scarred I am. what. the. fuck.
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I mean I sucked his dick at 3 AM... UNDERWATER. I think I have earned a follow back on twitter.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
Your brother's naked in the courtyard again. Just a head's up.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Well I just took a pregnancy test... So how's your thanksgiving?
I or someone else dumped a lot of glitter into my boobs last night.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
It smells like graded cheese and febreze in the family room what the hell have you been up to???
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