Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
He's gotten way too comfortable around me. He came into the bathroom and took a shit while I was in the shower.
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
New Years Resolution for 2011 : QUALITY cock. Not quantity.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a Chick-Fil-A breakfast sandwich. How's your Monday?
maybe one of us should just pity fuck him and get it over with.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
You really do take on your dog's personality she sounded like her pug breathing when we were going at it.
Randomize
