careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
The bars here don't close until 4!
my legs don't close until 4
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
just gave him road head on the way home IN A SNOW STORM..good thing we didn't crash or I'd be dead. I DIDN'T HAVE MY SEATBELT ON
clearly you have your priorities straight
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
So a list of things I should stay away from bringing up at dinner with your fiance tonight?
1) you and I went to a strip club 2) i saw you topless at said strip club 3) i cried when we watched the Real World
he said he did everything he could to puke on his nurses because they were doing everything wrong
Thats admirable.
The Angel on my shoulder is now resorting to merely reminding me that, "You will regret this later." I'm not sure if he's learning how I think or just giving up. Either way, should make life a bit more interesting.
Not drinking has really freed up a lot of my time. I made a bracelet yesterday. I miss bars.
Is it bad form to spend company money and place an ad in the paper because I wanna nail the sales girl?
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I NEED TO TAKE A FUCKING BREAK. MY VAGINA IS SMOKING.
Stop fucking Sharon's exes.
Sorry it took me so long to reply. I was fucking Sharon's ex.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
