How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
cant tell, his cock is acting like one of those inflatable arm waving things outside the market
I'm pretty sure the guy in front of me at Walmart doesn't have good plans. It's one am he is buying a flash light and black bandanna
I give up. I can't handle that class sober any longer. I have an army of whiskey shooters for the next three weeks. Wish me luck.
He took me out, we slept together, and he sent me home this morning with fresh cantaloupe. #husbandstatus
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
Was last night real life? Like did you really light your hair on fire
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
She made me watch three musicals and then told me she was too tired for me to stay over. I think I'm being punished but I have no clue what I did.
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
