So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I had a drunk dream I lived on a puppy farm. I hope this dream repeats every night of my life.
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
He texted back and said he would hook up if he didn't have a test at 8am. It's really hard to be annoyed by how good of a student he is.
Yeah that sucks. That's why I stick to deadbeat sports management majors.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
I'm finally in my bed, my pants are off, and there's no pee on my carpet this is the best life has been all day
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Sometimes, being an adult means buying a bottle of whiskey after work and live tweeting the commercial breaks on food network.
Randomize
