She stuck a Big Gulp bend-y straw up his ass to see if he could handle anal.
Ew, and?!
Well he couldn't and the deal was he had to drink something using it afterwards.
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We found your brother, passed out, floating in our pool, with a bottle, on a blow up mattress. How did he mange to walk 2 blocks and get into our backyard?
there was a 40 knocked over. chips and salsa all over the floor. and she was in her thong doing boot camp on demand in the middle of the room..
That's why there are breakfast margaritas.
Definitely just blazed with the housekeeper. That woman needs a raise
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Quick how do you hit on a guy in the car behind you? It's important.
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Don't get yourself off tomorrow. We. Are. Having. Sex. That's that. Just dont do it.
Randomize
