More dangerous that a broken heart and a shotgun.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
we had a 10 minute conversation with his family about how I don't let him eat me out. I want to go home
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
You act like this is the first time I literally thought I was invisible.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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