hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
just landed in detroit. Currently holding a bag of my own vomit. neighbor told me it was the most graceful vom she has ever seen. Kicking off bar exam week in style.
i feel like verizon should give a sexter of the month award
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
the beer staff turned into a beer spear way to quickly
I shouldn't be home alone with this much peanut butter and the dog. I feel like i'm being recorded to see when my desperation will peak.
Just had a memory of you pretending to be a begging dog putting your head on my lap while I fed you. Great night to try a new drug.
I may or may not have told him that he's "the only one with a PHD in this pussy"... I should like direct cheesy porno flicks or something.
I'm gonna get drunk in the shower and yell at my parents during dinner. Have fun in Texas.
I'm literally taking a shit naked holding a bottle of wine.
he asked me where I was going to school, and then we started having sex, and I answered his question forty five minutes later after we were done. It was the chilliest thing ever.
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
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