I passed out in the cab. Woke up to the cabby yelling SIR SIR WE ARE AT THE TRAIN STATION!! SIRRRR!!
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
Just saw a cop issuing a DUI. At 3 pm. It's definitely the start of winter break.
Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
hot buttered vodka was not a success. on any level.
im starting to recognize places in this city by where i have drunkenly peed in public
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Gotta wait until my full time offer is confirmed before I try to fuck the mid level manager
Well, at least you look pretty when you're disgusted
youll appreciate my drinking habit one day...
Julius Caesar had a huge penis
WTF are you reading?
Ha ha! No, the guy in the Caesar costume last night. We hooked up. His dick was huge
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