well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
So, someone in Olympia stole my credit card # last week and bought a platypus vibrator with it. That’s it.
I feel uncomfortable when she gargles my jizz.
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
I was passed out in a dog food bowl tor two hours. Just tapped my dinner beer. I love homecoming.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
I'm on day 4 of clean eating. I call it the "whore by June" program
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
THE STRIPPER HAD A GUN JOHN!
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