Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
theyre selling pepper spray in the courtyard. hellooo atl
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
"So you think you can dance" turned into "so you think you can run and slide across the bar"...Jack Daniels wins
I created a photogrid for every picture he has ever sent me of his penis. Now I can see every angle at one time. THIS IS GREAT.
I'm actually not sure I need to run today, between the crazy monkey sex and breaking into my own house.
Your dress got me laid by one of Obama's Secret Service members. Patriotic duty, check.
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
In other news it turns out I like Heineken.. In a desert island kind of way
wait you fucked a guy who wears k-swiss? seriously?
I know, im living my 7th grade dream
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
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