She kept screaming "yeah! You pick up my books!" the whole time. . .
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
There was a stripper pole on the party bus. Was being past tense because some fat chick somehow tore it from the ceiling while grinding
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
I IMAGINED YOU YELLING SURPRISE WITH JAZZ HANDS. AND I LOVE YOU FOREVER
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
He just texted me saying "you've got a face that suggests you give really good head". Is this a compliment? Do I say thanks?
You just sent me an audio message of you peeing. That’s true love right there.
I enjoy the company of your penis
Randomize