so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
We ran out of ice cubes so I used ice cream. Everyone thought that was the plan all along. I just went with it.
I just found out my college boyfriend's nickname is actually a Dutch word for little cucumber.....it all makes sense now.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
When / where did the additional couches appear?
Additional?
James brought one with him when he showed up. Theres still 2 outside and according to facebook, at least one more burned up.
Had a guy spin me around at the bar, kiss me then say "oh shit you're not who I thought you were" and then walk away.
He showed me his night stand drawer...it has one too many sex things in it.
Exactly how many...is TOO many?
I don't know if dry shampoo will fix the decisions we made last night.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Would it be totally wrong, that in honor of princess leias death, I role played as her??
Just because my bed is easier to get to doesn't mean it's okay to fuck in.
Randomize
