My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
I think im going to throw up on grandma
is it wrong that i woudl like to tie u down to the baby changing station using the straps provided?
Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
If my thighs hurt from cage dancing last night, I can only imagine how yours feel
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
Is this really the life I've chosen for myself?
He’s going to a lawnmower race. I got a Brazilian and he’s racing a lawnmower race. Pick me up. I’m not wasting this waxing on John Deer
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
