butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
In these economic times, linking arms taking tequilla shots with your boss as an underage girl is the best job security I can think of
Talk about awkward... Just went to dinner with my mother and realized I fucked our waiter the night before. She HAD to see the looks he was giving me!
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
Moms kinda upset I threw up in grandmas bedroom. I think ill stay in tonight.
I cannot believe how calm you were last night about telling Katie she was on fire.
Ok say I was sexually attracted to a patient who also happens to be in high school...on how many levels is that illegal? And will I actually hear the laws break when I fuck him
Let's just say trying to drink my weight in apple pie shots looked better in theory.
I just feel like a girl who's never eaten a pb&j probably doesn't swallow
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
Worse. He's Mormon. At least a gay guy will go get drinks with me.
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
