I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
If my vag had twitter, what do you think it would say?
I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
He started to lick a stick of butter and was calling it Jennifer.
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
don't judge but I think I'm gonna go fuck a dad this weekend
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