I wanna bring you to show and tell
Spraying perfume on pants makes them clean right?
dude i just saw a topless girl trying to get into her locked car. im moving here
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
what the fuck. my fiance told me she called our wedding band last night and told them to perform "best i ever had" for our first dance
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
You turned to me, winked, whispered "man the harpoons" and walked out with the fat chick
okay when i look at this i can see it on the future news along with the headline "picture scandal involving senatorial candidate sexually harassing drunken idiot in what appears to be a pink room of pain"
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
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