Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
I caught a rooster roaming Edison Park then released it in the bar. They made me try to catch it again and somebody played the chicken dance while I chased it
dude are you gonna smoke tonight? my day was shit and I wanna get high
worker bees can leave....even drones can fly away....the queen is their slave
nevermind....I'm on the way
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
stayed up to watch the sunrise..saw an albino taking shots on the quad..it's like there's a whole new world of people out there just waiting to meet us
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
Last time I stayed at my moms my fucking car got set on fire sooo maybe I should think this through.
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I vaguely remember a drunken mid sex pinky promise to not let it get weird.
What's the polite way to tell someone she's a grown ass woman and she needs to start acting like it.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
I gave him breakup sex, AGAIN
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