im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
I kind of want you to get arrested just so I could frame an avatar mugshot.
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
I just told a squirrel he was gonna suffocate because he was eating a plastic bag. and i stared at him till he spit it out. Its official, I love squirrels more than people. they actually listen.
Ok not good, my info has definitely been submitted to this sugar daddy website before.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
See! Theres potential!
Oh yeah. All good relationships start with a threesome.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
Randomize
