Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
You just kept saying over and over "Tell me I won't do it." Someone finally told you you won't. You did. Welcome to herpes.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
im sure shes a lovely person but i cant be friends with someone that doesnt drink. its just not right.
So I'm drunk playing pool in a bar with a guy I arrested last week for a DUI...if he recognizes me, shit's gonna get real.
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
By early evening I was shouting at the deeply Christian girl to suck my dick inbetween snorting lines of gatorade powder.
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It was dumb but not something to force me into sobriety
Only real friends lend their restraints to engagedfriends to fool around with married strangers.
He asked if I was alright. I said "Yeah, I'm just an incapacitated ball of orgasmic bliss right now."
Like people might wonder why I put up with your puns. You give good head and play with my hair
Randomize