whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
she always made me post sex PB&Js it was like fucking a trashier Martha Stewart
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
I'm not a pervert.. I just like to be naked...
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
The only people who have said happy valentines day to me today have been 2 homeless people.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Just sucked some sandy dick on a boardwalk & now I'm at a family reunion hbu
...I'm not a booty call or a pizza...you can't just call/text and expect to be eating me in an hour..
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
My boss's toddler just went through my bag and found your vibrator...you owe me a drink.
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