so evidently yelling "gay" everytime your bf tells you how he feels is cause for breakup. news to me
like i told you yesterday: virgins, blood, my name. do it.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
Oh man. Realized I was high when I realized how long I'd been watching Roseanne
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
My ex came over to hook up...then I went on a date 2 hours later and got a bj. Single: Finally doing it right.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
They also submitted to my demands for pizza
My vape juice got mixed up with the astroglide.
Wow..I bet that tasted bad.
Not tasted.
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
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