he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
i'm having a wet tshirt contest with myself and yet i'm still losing
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
don't worry, your friend will b fine, they treat virgins nicely around here
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He considered it romantic when he told me mid-blow job that no matter what happens, he will "never forget how good of a dick I suck". Verbatim.
You are so lucky that drugs are going to kill you before I do.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
He told me he deactivated his facebook because his girlfriend caught him wackin it to my profile picture.
10 points to you
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
MDMA IS GREAT AND YOU WERE THE WORST GIRLFRIEND EVER.
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
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