The worst part was when my mom got more drunk than anyone else and started doing the Time Warp.
if you could put a roof over IU campus it would be the biggest whorehouse in the nation
Thought it only fitting this Jubilee weekend to snort lines with a 50 note
Your patriotism amazes me, the Queen would be proud!
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
i'm totally cool with all the dick sucking you're doing down there, but as your brother i think i'm supposed to warn you our parents will be home in 5
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
He kept singing Happy Birthday to himself, yelling at the bouncers for not letting him in, and telling them his "father will hear of this." He was like a drunken Scottish Draco Malfoy.
He ripped down his Kate Upton poster while we were having sex last night. Im gonna take that as a good sign.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
It's only 3 AM. There's still time to get arrested today.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
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