I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
I get off at the next exit which doesn't have a shoulder, a guy is riding my ass so I cant stop. I think I got as much puke on his car as on mine.
He got violent drunk so we have to untie him in the morning. He's in your basement and you're out of electrical tape. Don't forget because I will.
My only downfall is that I can only take shots in twos.
Though the booty shorts might give me an extra discount. Or arrested. We'll see.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
I spent three hours in the ER last night to figure out that my friend just had to take a shit
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
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