not only are you not the girl i fell in love with, but from the looks of it, you ate her
i just wanna skin you and wear you like last years versace.
you may have the big hair, fake nails, and talk with a fake accent, but you will NEVER be a housewife from new jersey so STOP TRYING.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
you passed out on the bathroom floor with the door locked. we had to break in and no one was sober enough to move you so they just threw a towel on you and stepped over you
If it was designed to hold water, it was designer to hold wine
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
Remember when we used to share painkillers at parties? Now we're dealing in blood pressure pills. Oh, how the mighty have fallen.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
I woke up in an ill fitting childs tutu this morning and the shower curtain is knocked down. Wtf happened?
What're you gonna do with the rest of your night?
Probably watching cooking videos and fantasizing about pie
So I decided to sleep with him for the first time in months so I can convince him it's his kid instead of the other guy
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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