its summer. and we all know college gfs do not count in summer.
college gfs dont count ever. theyre like getting corn rows in jamaica. you feel cool at the time. then you go home and people make fun of you.
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
The leasing office is hiring, so I gave them my resume and class schedule. I doubt they'll call me considering last summer at their "exotic animal" pool party I marched in with a funnel and demanded the employees chug. I doubt they've forgotten.
Oh and I ate all of your Cinnamon Toast Crunch. Consider it part of your reparation payment for accidental anal insertion. I may continue to collect payments until I am no longer sore.
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I don't know when it is this year, but if I ever text you an illegible text that also happens to contain sharks, Shark Week started.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
All I want to do is drink an excessive amount of free alcohol bought from strange men, while taking frequent trips to the bathroom to snort an assortment of illicit drugs off dirty toilet seats. Break cannot get here quick enough...
I'm that daughter that had to send her mother "DON'T GET SHITFACED" & yes, in ALL CAPS.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
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