So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
some crying dude holding an empty fifth of burnetts just showed up at our door and asked 'do i live here?'
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I've decided I'm going to drink again. More. Day drinking. Night drinking. Everything. It's the responsible thing to do since I'm not pregnant
1) I'm a decent drunk texter. 2) My world is spinning. 3) I'll give you a dollar and a hug for a glass of water. 4) I love you. 5) Example: your penatrive ways are overwhelming my alternative lyfestyle. 6) That is all.
7) Noodle arms: engage
The example was me just using big words while hammered. You're welcome. Ambidextrious. I spelled it right.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
Oh, that was the alley that I ate a pine cone in.
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
I bought 10 disposable adhesive bras and duct tape. If Home Depot can't help my breasts defy gravity, nothing will...
LMAO
how did you set a fucking salad on fire????????
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
These business classes have improved my drug business ten fold
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