When i light up a cigarette people look at of like i'm going to pee on their children.
Don't use my boy Weezy to support your whoreish tendencies.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
My life has become a never ending game of 'illegal or just frowned upon?'
Apparently I gave him a 'Steve jobs blowjob'
plus shes a stripper, ive been with strippers, if you fuck this up your penis will never forgive you
Luke did at least 8 shots of pure mayonnaise last night. I am not sure if that is better or worse than my 2 cement mixers?
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
I wound up gambling on giant connect four with the bartender. I think he saw my boobs.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
Randomize
