why didn't you poke me back
What I dont get about To Catch a Predator is who the fuck still uses chat rooms?
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
I just woke up in my closet, wearing a pink cowboy hat and a pink thong...
I want my thong back.
I hate you tequila.
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
Ok so in the last 18 months I have now driven four different dudes into counseling. I'm like heroin with a vagina.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I swear to god, if you fuck the hot one you're paying me back for the shot I just bought her
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
Hey in a lighter note I also nutted in that cheerleader too if she got prego there would have been a team reunion on Maury
Fun fact. A penis can be used to catapult cheetos.
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
Give me the sexing that I truly desire and I will reveal to you the mysterious location of the PBR's
Randomize
