Just saw truck nuts on a handicap conversion van
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
at least after i hook up with someone i have the decency to ignore them
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
She was that classic mixture between "Hell no" and "Why the fuck not."
Make good choices ;) This is your automated cockblock message
ill give you the fast version. Hooked up with 17 year old coworker while housestting for my boss
Some guy walked in while I was taking a piss and asked me if I knew of a back way out of the bar. He looked pretty freaked out.
Who has the safety vest from this past weekend Additionally, who has the dancemaster glove?
After 7 months of nothing.. shall we throw your vagina a party? as its reinstatement into society?
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
And that is why I love you so much. You have the same cold black heart as me.
He wanted to watch a Charlie Brown thanksgiving. But I was like, fuck that, I'm a grown up. So we watched jumanji and I sucked his dick.
Dude, naked camping ALWAYS takes precedence. I would skip my own funeral to go naked camping.
Randomize
