Lets date for the summer
what?
Dont love me in September.
im gay
i know
yea but for you.
bras are like tupperware for tits, keeps em fresh.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
I'm like the Mother Theresa of booty calls.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
We haven't even eaten dinner yet and she's already been asked to "take it down a notch" by the groom's mom.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
Good News: There was a condom on the floor. Bad News: It was still in the wrapper
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