He has that thing where they hang SUPER low
Ewww!! Elephantitis
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
He felt like a one man threesome
Whats the count minus fat chicks?
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
I don't know how we managed to stay up but we actually sat in front of her open refrigerator for god knows how long while she ate salami straight out of the package with her fingers and I laughed. It was a trainwreck.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
There's some band that practices next door to my apartment. I'm thinking we may need to check that out. I could be like, "Hey boys, thought you might like some lemonade and vagina."
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
If I could I'd magically teleport drugs and alcohol to you. Like a bad decision fairy.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Randomize
