I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
i took some ambien and I TRIPPED out...i went into my mom's room to say goodnight and i don't remember anything...she said that i got really pissed at her because we were living in the Keebler elf tree and she was visiting other trees, then i started laughing hysterically and she goes "whats so funny?" and i go "there are 7 people sitting on my knees" and she goes "doesn't that hurt?" and i said "no we're sitting in a bowl" and then i capped it off and said "join the crazy train bro" and passed out.
Flying to Orlando on the 7th is cheaper than the 8th by like three margaritas.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
Good news.. I found out what I did Saturday night. Bad news... I found out what I did Saturday night.
Just saw a porn entitled "Nad Biter". Redheads are now forever out of the picture.
on a related note, did you know that the fire alarm in our apartment talks?
He confessed to putting dry erase marker dots on my vibrator to keep track of when I "electronically cheated" and then passed out.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
How many bratwuest were you able to fit in your mouth at one time? It's me, Hans.
you know you have a brother who cares when he hands you a piece of pizza before you pass out from too many bong hits
It's official. I am the girl who threw up in the library. Hangovers and midterms do not mix.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
Meanwhile I'm working a fucking flute workshop and I'm one high c away from shoving a flute up the asshole of the next passerby
i spent most of last night convincing myself that dan akroyd wasn't actually standing in my bathroom holding a dead chicken
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