It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
I chased a girl up a staircase screaming because she had a cardboard cut out of James Dean which, at the time, I believed to my friend being held against his will
He doesn't have any game.. I mean, his one move is forwarding chicks pictures of his penis.
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
If you hear a sad honk in the wind it is me.
I just want every freshman guy to know about Grindr just so I can have more options
Neither a grow-er nor a show-er. More like a no-er. If he didn't have testicles, I'm not sure you could tell he was a male, even standing there naked. There will be no second date.
His friend still there? Be like "I need to see both of your dicks ASAP"
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I shoulda been born a dude. There's too much power in a vagina.
The guy who said he's gonna suck your butthole till your face caves in is at Maggie's
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