you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
the first call I got in the morning was from visa fraud prevention so yeah it was one of those nights
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
We are taking shots for every green Lon-Capa box we get for the homework.
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
don't pay it forward
I eont pay shit forward. told a stranger to call an abulance and peaced
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
This time tomorrow I'll be fingering you
Oh shit a waiter was leaning over me when i opened that and i felt him pause
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
This is why you are going on a date. To see if he is fun or if we need to shank him in the parking lot.
I responded with revoking his blow job privileges. Needless to say, he's learned his lesson.
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