Me too!
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Do you know a sam ****, im at the bar right now and lookin for some dirt on her to guilt trip her in to sex
you made a powerpoint titled 'things i've drank tonight' and emailed it to me.
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
What vodka is american?
Skyy. I already looked it up for 4th of july.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
My roommate has gone Christmas crazy. It looks like Jack Frost came all over my living room. Wanna come fuck me in the fake snow by the fireplace?
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
If you were more comfortable around gay men, then you too could get wasted at the gay dance club and go home with hot girls.
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
If you're not my stylist, having sex with me, or agreeing to have sex with me don't fucking touch my hair.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
There is a woman in the stall next to me giving a pep talk to her daughter that wants to call off her wedding. I'm afraid to pee!
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