You don't have asthma, your pregnant
My drunk dialing habit needs to go. My drunk habit can stay though.
I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I cannot convey how much I really do love Chris Hansen. FYI: he is the JC Chasez of my adult years.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
Best thing law school has taught me: how to use logic to turn a girls "no I will not have sex with you" into "well I might as well get laid"
Please tell me this is my four loko that I just woke up in....
For your information i will be shotgunning whiskey on may 21st.
Dude when we asked him where he lived all he could tell us was "by the slurpees." That fucked up.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
ABOUT TO MAKE THE BIGGEST MISTAKE OF MY LIFE, SEND HELP
Have fun and good luck.
it's like i'm your dad, but instead of reminding you to bring your lunch to school i remind you to take a good long hit from your bong.
Randomize
