I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I didn't say she couldn't, I said you shouldn't.
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
woke up and she was making me crepes. definitely not the last time i fuck a culinary student
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
This is much more drunk than i was intending for a wednesday
we went to the store to buy cookie dough and conditionally went straight towards the booze
I FOUND AN AUSTRALIAN THEY CALL VOMMING 'RAINBOW SNEEZING' I'M NEVER LETTING HIM LEAVE EVER
I GOOGLED IT. BEES CAN MASTURBATE. WHAT.
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I told him about the time I blacked out and shit myself and he still wanted to have sex with me that night. Feeling pretty optimistic about where this fling is going.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
i'm so glad to be in bed i'd like to thank the acadermy
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