we have pet lesbian snakes
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Ya but I plan to getting arrested more towards the end of summer
And I swear to god I'll divorce you if you so much as say a single sentence in Yoda talk in our bedroom. I may be a nerd but that's just fucking creepy
It took too long for people to come up with things in "never have i ever" so we had to change it to "Don't judge me but.."
at least I have the sex noises of his roommate to entertain me while I wait for him to wake up
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I told you alcohol was flammable, but you didn't believe me until you tried to extinguish your sparkler by submerging it in vodka and the bottle burst into flames.
I'm actually more excited that I had so much sex this weekend that my ovaries hurt
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
