the number of months ive had a girlfriend in my life divided by the number of blowjobs ive gotten is extremely depressing...
btw, her name was actually Alixx. in retrospect, it was pretty much a gimme
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
well he never texted me back and the pizza I took my rage out didn't deserve such malice
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Oh god he’s a clown I fucked a rodeo clown
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
Randomize
