Some girl just toasted to friendship and love. I want to break her neck.
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
Dancing like a fucking crazy person to jai ho with a snow ball in her hand. Snow days make her go nuts.
my resolution for 2011 is to fuck him whenever he wants it. this year I'm going above and beyond the call of booty.
This is ridiculous. It's like playing possible STD Clue, and I don't want to be the winner.
You told the cop FUCK YOU AND YOUR TASER, i dont think he appricaited that
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I've never seen a dude bust out of his jacket and rock an air banjo like u
He called from a stranger phone to say. He was a t a liquior store and there was a long line they have no condoms. This is the guy i was gonna go on a date with
Atleast he is letting you know he will be late
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
Well I'm about 60% wine, 30% pure rage and 10% tears at the moment and I'm disappointed in how little alcohol is in me
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
Quit bitching. I brought you a muffin.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
Randomize
