I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
i know this sounds kinda weird but his cock smelled like fabric softener. it was so refreshing.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
I'm more concerned about the fact that I can't feel my gums
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
We definitely need to avoid these "I'm gonna get stabbed if I stay here any longer" partys
it's all fun and games til I text you in last nights clothes with a head bleed
If sandwichs had dicks, my life would be complete
She turned down sex for beer pong. I'm not sure if I should be disappointed or not.
my underwear is inside out , I have a giant hickie. I'm wearing last nights makeup. this is going to be the best day at work ever
she was sitting with her tits completely out.. on the kitchen floor..eating pickles by the handful... rapping mac dre... and then lit up a cig and continued...that drunk
outside on the street drinkin, walked into a random house and asked to pee, some kid hands me a beer and says i have to chug it first
Randomize
