they said they heard you say put it in my butt
do you know how scary it is to wake up in a CATSCAN machine after a night of drinking?
doing a bong hit while wearing crest white strips...not such a great idea...
Just had a thought: were the sirens on when we were in the ambulance?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
Beautiful fucking linguistics Shakespeare, but youre still not doing that to my face
I finally got out of bed at 8:30pm and my little brother informed me that I had cereal stuck to my back. I'm going to smoke a cigarette and go back to sleep.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
He pulled a bucket of fried chicken out of his backpack as a peace offering. Under the chicken was a rainbow bag of weed. We're dating again.
I got custody of our girlfriend in the breakup.
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
I'm fairly sure I accidentally saw my dad naked last night
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
Randomize
