just throwing this out there: period starts tomorrow sooo either sex tonight or not until tues/weds.
i get a bj anyways so it's really your choice.
k i'll be over in 5.
listen if there's one thing I'm asking of you tonight is that you buy me a cow for my farmville.
Tell me you're stoned. It's 2:40am.
Well, according to foursquare I checked in "@under the bushes" at 3:27am. This could explain some things.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
they were having a wine tasting so i tasted every wine...then knocked over an entire display of gourmet olives and was asked to leave... but they still let me buy my 6 bottles of wine before escorting me out
When I came in she was screaming "boundaries!" at the cat because it was trying to eat her pizza rolls.
let's just pour the lemonade mix into the soco. cut out the middle man.
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
Remind me never to smoke before babysitting again. Ate an entire bottle of children's gummy vitamins.... not an easy thing to explain to parents.
Also I played a weird game of chicken in the ladies room at work between myself the person pooping 2 stalls over and a very determined maintenance man.
Literally too hungover to pull out of the driveway. Tried 3 times and failed. I'm going back to bed.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
Who died my cat blue again?
You were cussing me out in sign language, and slurring your signs.
That's some kind of record drunk there...
Randomize
