Have you ever noticed every guy named Shaant has scene hair and date girls with racoons stripes in theirs
His name should be shouldn't
it must be christmas time, i've got a hankering to give a virgin a baby....
nothing says happy new years better than a black eye from shooting yourself with a champagne bottle
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
Don't tell me wow. Tell me this is normal for college and in no way am I a whore.
I thought about donating plasma but thats not the way i want to find out that i have aids
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
it's too much effort for something that isn't food.
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I want an apology pizza with SORRY IM A DOUCHE spelled out on it in pepperoni
I wore a bathing suit downtown so I didn't have to put on underwear, I obviously don't have my shit together
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
Remember that one time you told the bartender he was fuckable? Well, he's here.
If I told the doordash driver it's national nudity day, think he'd still report me for being topless at the door?
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