Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
It's a shame that I don't know his last name. Actually, it's an ever bigger shame that I don't know his first name
Worst night here by far. And ive slipped in my own piss so thats saying something
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
Holy shit, you lost your virginity on 11/11/11. Now every time someone fucks you, they can make a wish. Your vagina has officially been transformed into a wishing well.
My booty call just put me down for a reference for her job at the hospital. What am I supposed to say? She gives great bj's?
obviously he wasnt ready for this jelly and you can quote me on that
I have an erection and I'm about to go through airport security.
I am naked in a blanket sprawled on my bed eating a pastry. This is all I want out of life. Ever.
I think you'll be amused to know that I achieved the impossible feat of tripping over my own dick
I traded my pants for a Santa hat last night and it was so worth it.
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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