If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
I'm not sure if doing him was such a good idea. Yes the sex was good, but I'm scared I set myself up for failure in 2011 because he's the hottest guy. Ever.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
The last thing I said to him last night before telling him he couldn't give me a kiss goodnight was pointing at his dick then at me and saying "this isn't working out"
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
The lady that was sitting beside me thought the best way to cheer herself up was to pet and ruffle my hair while crying and telling me her problems...
For a guy who won't fuck me, your dick is out a lot when we talk.
Gary just stuck his dick in his Guinness. I can't even make this up
When the paramedic asked Logan how he fell he explained that he was trying to lick his eyeball, missed and tripped over his own tongue.
Randomize
