I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
He poured all of the vodka into the sweet tea and said that tomorrow it would be called 'surprise drunk.' then we had sex.
At what point in your drunken state would you actually believe that the cops wanted to party with you?
ur roommate just sent me a pic of us fucking. i'm not coming over anymore.
It was kinda hard to explain to his wife why there was chocolate syrup on the ceiling.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I’m 95% positive I adopted a bunny last night.
You had cocktails, didn’t you?
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
