And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
So roofie roulette was a success but I'm a little worried that the 2 who got the tainted beer still haven't contacted anyone...
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
He was hiding behind my bedroom door. at noon. Wearing a t shirt. And a condom. Not attractive.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
What do you do when you legitimately find a hidden sex dungeon in your parents basement next to your bedroom!!?
Randomize
