You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
you said "tonight pinky, we take over the world" and then came in my face
I definitely didn't wake up this morning thinking "i wanna get gang banged today"
He got arrested in front of the church last night. Looks like we need to find a new location for the wedding.
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
What's the policy for hitting on a girl at a funeral? She seems more bored than sad.
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
Just got that "I know what's going on with your vagina" look from that CVS cashier.
You bought MORE?!
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
Apparently chalking everything I've done these past 48 hours to the fact that it was homecoming, is like a "get out of jail free" card.
I did a line of coke with my ex tonight. Talk about memories
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
Randomize
