Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
remember when you told me, jokingly, to not get jizz on your shirt that i borrowed last night?
Stop it. You sound like you're giving birth.
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
yea i guess its safe to say fire extinguishers are not synonymous with whip cream cans
Walked into a liquor store bleeding. That kind of night.
Hey just to warn you theres a really fat guy passed out in front of our front door snoring. Don't touch him, he's in god's hands now.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
We forgot to go back and get the brick YOU WANTED TO BRING INTO THE BAR?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
For breaking and entering. I think neighbor dan cared more about me puking in his backseat than the surprise of me waking up there
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
when you shit yourself on the way to school its time to give up and go home
Randomize
