someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
I gave my ex the dutch oven last night. How was your night?
I told her she can't come to our bonfire because she throws up on herself & she has a mustache. And now apparently I'm a bitch or something.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I think I ruined his life by managing to get his initiation nickname for his frat to be "Whiskey Dick" but I still wish herpes on him and his fugly new girlfriend.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
I'm pretty sure I made out with a guy in a man thong.
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
Let's just says his mouth writes a lot of checks that his penis just can't cash. Don't waste your time.
I see your boobs were ready to greet the new year.
I wanna eat mushrooms and cuddle with a million dogs at once. I wanna know what heaven is like
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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