the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Woke up wearing just a scarf, the holidays are definetly here
Come see our sink grown plant.
this is a mass text to all the people i smoke weed with. I have Mono, so if we've shared a bong/pipe. sorry man.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
He was the only guy who ever made me cry..
Who, the park ranger who made you dump out your beer on the beach?
I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge
So I found a skull ring inside me this morning. I'm assuming its yours, so I'll leave it in my mailbox for you - it looks expensive.
so hungover. I'm actually considering eating the snow off the roof so I don't have to leave my bed
If there was a bread and water delivery truck id make sweet hungover love with it.
WHO THE FUCK PEED IN MY BONG
I can't help you right now because I'm shaving my feet...like a lady.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
