he quoted cool runnings while we were having sex: feel the rythm,feel the rhyme, get on up, its bobsled time
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
He got mauled by a 200lb cement boulder and all he could say in the back of the ambulance is 'I'm so getting laid for this'
She left scratches down my back from her wedding ring. Her husband seems like a nice guy though, judging by the scratches it had to be at least a carat.
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
Somehow he made it really romantic
He came on your tits... That doesn't scream romance to me.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
Wow I got tittyfucked by the American Dream
He got me off while watching hockey. He's a keeper.
I woke up with clothes on this morning and I'm pretty sure you had something to do with that. Thank you.
Randomize
