woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
When he came he kept saying "oh god oh god" and he sounded just like his dad. awkward...
i think it was just a coincidence but she literally vomited the second she saw my penis.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
Well sorry I accidentally spooned your mom and possibly threw up on you
Dude the tree smoked with me. I planted the roach with it and smiled.
This drunk lesbian I just met keeps trying to shove sushi in my mouth. Help.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
I am dancing alone in my bathroom because I was paranoid the neighbors were watching through the windows
Randomize
